It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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