Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
