i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
