dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
