The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
