So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
