drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize