my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize