Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
