But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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