I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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