EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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