You can't special order awesome
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
