what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
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