the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
