Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
