Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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