trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
