Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
