dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
