Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
