So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My dick has a subreddit
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
