shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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