I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
