wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
