It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
