I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
