My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
how does that bad decision feel?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
