We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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