do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
