Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
