There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
