You can't special order awesome
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
