They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
