Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Randomize
