I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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