He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
