She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
