sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
