apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
