just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
home. puking in laundry basket.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
All the doctor said was why
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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