in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
