dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
