Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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