I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
