I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
