his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Use "feeling words"
Yay
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My vagina just clenched in fear
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
