And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
