I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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