Have you finally orgasmed yet?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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