Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She's the barista slut.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
