i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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