I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
