writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize