I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
