HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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