This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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