...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
