I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
