Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
