Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
