Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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