Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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